Quickly...

Surgery scheduled for 12/30... pretty much starting off the year as I began it, on that front.
Swelling again, which is very painful and makes mobility of any sort quite difficult and painful.
I am very nervous about all of this, and recently found a photo of myself from 2 months before this all began and can't get over it. I looked so good- I don't mean that in a cocky sort of way, but rather just that I thought, at that point, that I was horrid looking, and now... I look like hell and feel like hell and seeing me look that good is just baffling and brings tears to my eyes.
I really wish someone would give me a diagnosis and a treatment.
I am out of strength and will.