Sick of being sick.

I am having so much trouble moving... physically and in the finding a place to live sense.
Last night, I went to a show with some friends and on the way in, I sprained my right ankle (the one I am in PT for to begin with- and the sprain was diagnosed by my physical therapist today) and about halfway through the show I got so nauseated and dizzy and I felt like something was stabbing me in the lower left side of my stomach. (the stabbing pain also happened Sunday morning while I was at church with some friends)
Today, I ate a small, plain-ish sandwich and felt horrible.
Tonight, I am attempting some chicken and angel hair... and that will be my last meal for a while, as I have to start prepping for Wednesday's colonoscopy, which will be done under full anesthesia.
I am in so much pain.
I don't know what to do.
I have very little time in which I will have a roof over my head too... I am searching every day and getting nowhere. No matter what, it is going to cost money that I don't have. If I wind up on the street, I will die. I can't lose my kitties. I am so scared.
I really can't even express it properly.
I am forever grateful to the people who are trying to help me, in every sense of the word.
Thank you.
If you can help, financially, you can send donations via Paypal to curiouspatient@gmail.com or use the "donate" button in my previous post.

Don't tell me that socialization doesn't better my health!

I am a pretty socially-awkward person, as a general rule. I don't always know how to talk to people, which, in some cases, means that I ramble and say too much and therefore weird people out. and in other cases, I don't say enough, and I miss out on things, or make people think that I am either rude, un-approachable, or both. There is very rarely a happy medium in that regard.

That being said, my state of mental health is almost always better when I do things of a social nature, be that participating in community theatre, going to a show, or just hanging out with friends, family, or framily (my friends who are like family, ain't I creative?). My physical health, I think, also benefits from these things.

For example, the edema, still on-going, more than likely led to some weight gain, in addition to the gain from the edema itself. Doing things like the aforementioned activities gets me out, gets me moving. Granted, I get out and get moving when I am on my own too, but I just feel so many times better when I get to have the human interaction.

There is mold in my apartment. It is not visible, and I don't yet know what to do, but I am looking into it. I am fairly certain that whatever is going on here is the reason I am sick. Perhaps not all of it, but I am certain that something here is the main reason that all of this started.

The strain that was found in the petri dish I sent to the lab (at my own expense) is called BIPOLARIS/DRECHSLERA, and while it is not a "black mold" it is seemingly invisible here, but here... all over my apartment, as I placed the petri dish in the middle of the relatively small space. There is a minimal amount of visible mold in the bathroom, which was here when I moved it, and I have cleaned it multiple times and it just keeps coming back. When I first moved in here, the landlord, in passing, said that the previous tenant had moved out after a very short time because he was "allergic to something" and shrugged it off. He said it so casually that I really thought nothing about it. After about 2 months of living here is when this whole fiasco started and my health has been a never-ending downward spiral.

I still have a lot of investigating to do, but I plan on researching this quite a bit and seeing what can be done about it. All the while, I am desperately searching for a new place to be on 3/1/11.

Oops?

It seems that the reason my blood sugars were so high (and therefore my A1C took a hike) is that I was given the wrong chart of how much Humalog to take, and therefore was taking an insufficient amount several times a day.
I am on a more accurate scale now, and the sugars are on their way to the right place now. Yay!

I have stayed under 230lbs for a couple of months now. I am happy with that, in that it isn't 265lbs, but very frustrated that I am not losing more, since I don't eat very much, and I exercise a LOT. There is still a lot more edema than there is fat. Like, I am so swollen that I can't put my arms all the way down- they just pop outward and it makes me VERY self-conscious.

I have been taking Turmeric supplements to see if that would help. I don't know yet if it is.

My sleep schedule is still basically non-existent. That bothers me. I basically don't use my CPAP machine because it really seems to make matters much, much worse.

I am at a loss. At the same time, I keep trying. I gave my endocrinologist a form to apply to a program in Maryland that deals with un-diagnosed diseases. It is a long-shot, but I figure it is worth a try. The worst they can do is not accept me, and I'd be no different than I am now. If t hey do accept me, MAYBE I can get some answers. Til then, I will keep searching.

I am supposed to see a Neurologist sometime soon. I should check on when that is...

I have to update this thing WAY too often.

I think I might have permanent scars because my kitties like to sit on my lap while I write, which I seem to do a lot. Eh, they mean well.
So as I said before, I met with the bariatric surgeon, and he was... not my kind of doctor, shall we say? The VERY first thing I said to him was "I am not saying I am not fat. I know I am, but I have an excessive amount of fluid that showed up very quickly out of nowhere and I am not convinced that a fat-loss surgery can help, so I need to know why this is a viable option." He went on and on about how the forms that I filled out at the info session prove that I am not a good candidate. Why? Because I spoke my mind in answering their stupid, non-specific-enough questions.
Examples:
Did/do you have overweight parents? Yes, but they weren't born that way and they aren't the ones being referred over for major surgery. This is MY life, thanks.

Please check the diets and meds on this list you have tried (followed by a list of fad-diets and drugs that have been either recalled or banned) None. I have never taken a weight loss pill or used a fad-diet. I watch what I eat, and I think the fact that I lost 155lbs and kept it off for 2 years and was continuing to lose until this fluid thing happened, proves that I did the right thing.

So yeah, stuff like that. The surgeon kept going back to me being "on the high end of morbidly obese" due to my high BMI, and I kept telling him that the BMI is bullshit because it IS NOT ALL FAT. So he asked if I had a psychiatrist, I said no, but that I had been seeking counseling on a longer-term after I just finished short-term counseling at the (semi) local rape crisis center and that I'd gladly take under advisement anyone he could suggest. To this he said "That's not my job, but I can't help you until you come to terms with the fact that you are simply morbidly obese." He told me to go back to the nutritionist that sent me to him in the first place (mentioned in previous posts) and that he would put me on drugs.
Right.
Because that will totally fix everything.
Do you know I see about a million commercials daily for new drugs being recalled, killing people, etc etc? Do you know how many of those I have been put on? It is pretty scary.
Anyway, I do what I can and am VERY active when my body lets me be.
I just finished a 4-week beginner's swing class on Wednesday. On Thursday, I am pretty sure we can count my commute as exercise, since I was wandering around blindly to find the entrance to the train station, and then I was forced to wait for half an hour for the bus in torrential downpours with no jacket and no umbrella in a rather heavy, long dress and then walk a half a mile... I think carrying that extra weight added to my workout....
Friday (yesterday) I went to a city dance party. My friend and I started it up. It was supposed to start at X time, and theer was music, but no people, so we said "screw it" and got in the middle of the street and started dancing and yelling for others to join in. 3 hours straight of non-stop dancing, then a quick bite, then I walked from the store to my friend's house, which I didn't realize was about 2 miles... then stairs... then more dancing.
Normally I wouldn't put that stuff here, but I think that it needs to be documented that I AM an active person. I am sick of these quackpot doctors blaming laziness for my weight.
I walked 6-7 miles the day I turned into a human water balloon.
I have no idea what my cholesterol is like right now. I haven't been able to afford the fish oil capsules. Insurance won't cover natural products. They will only cover the DRUGS, which almost killed me. Wonderful.

Moving right along...
I met with the retina fellow last Friday and he said he thought it was time for a vitrectomy and to follow up with my retina doc soon. I did that on... Wednesday, and he agreed. Not only that, but he said that at the same time as the vitrectomy, he would remove my cataract on the left eye, and put in an implant. Kind of scary... I went for a test in which I had to lay down, have my eyes propped open, water poured on them and left there, and then lights shined through the water. It was rather uncomfortable.
I have to go in for an Avastin injection next week, and pre-op stuff, and then the following week with me my surgery. Man, do I wish I had decent pillows and/or a comfortable couch.

Anyway, I have typed about as much as I can for now. I think that sort of sums up things as they are now.

I should post something...

I am very overwhelmed.
Right now, my head and ears are killing me and I am dizzy upon returning from a concert at which I was seated in the balcony. I honestly wonder if that has something to do with it. I was dizzy the moment I looked down, and almost fell twice on the stairs.

Anyway, I went to the "info session" for gastric bypass and then I went to see the surgeon a week later and he basically said that I am just a morbidly obese crazy person.

He didn't use those exact words, but pretty damn close. I will write more when I can.

I also had an appointment with the retina fellow on Friday. He thinks the vitrectomy may have to happen soon. I am assuming I will hear from MY retina doc's office later on today to schedule a follow-up so he can make that determination.

My eyes...

They still have spots in them.
I really don't know what to do at this point about calling the retina doc or something.
It is driving me batty, as are the headaches.

I also think I did some actual damage to both of my knees during the production I was just in, but I am scared to get those checked out. I figure on that front, I will at least give it a few days healing time and see if they actually get better. If not, the "snaps" that I heard while moving around should probably be investigated.

I am pretty sure that my speep apnea is getting worse. I haven't really used the CPAP machine recently. It is so awkward. I will probably replace the filters and try it again in the relatively near future.

I am still a human water balloon.

Wait.... WHAT!?

So those dietitian/nutritionist appointments I had this week?
First, the dietitian was trying to help me with carb counting, which was all well and good until she started using McDonald's items as examples.
Anyone who knows me knows I don't tend to eat that crap.
Then, I went to the nutritionist, and (this is the 2nd time I have met him) he came in and said "your diabetes is in terrible control" to which I responded "Excuse me? Look at my numbers. I have a ways to go, but my A1c is down to 9 from FOURTEEN, so don't you DARE say that to me." He looked at my chart and realized that I was correct.
He then upped the does of my thyroid medication and sent in a referral for Gastric Bypass Surgery.

*blinkblink*

2 years I have been trying to figure out how and why I gained 100lbs in 3 days and NOBODY can tell me any damn thing... but NOBODY has brought up GBS.

I am going in for an information session (which apparently is "mandatory" if I do wind up wanting it...) in about a month. I will hear them out. I am indeed curious to see WHY they think that a surgery to remove FAT from my body will be of any use when its the FLUID that is the problem. Really.

I am going in with a positive attitude and an open mind.. but I will also be going in chock full of questions and hopefully with a friend or few to help me get them answered.

Meanwhile, the anxiety issues still trouble me, and I am again wide awake at 3am.

Sick of it all.

I am so sick of hospitals.
I had to go to the ER about my eye on Monday because I lost most of the vision in my left eye all of a sudden.
I went to see the retina specialist on Friday and wound up having laser surgery on the aforementioned eye. I also had an allergic reaction to the fluroscein contrast, which I am still dealing with.
I started having chest pains on Saturday evening, and went to the ER after much hesitation.
I was told that my liver function is low and my creatinine level is up.
The rest of the bloodwork looks good, apparently.
They did an EKG, BP, and CO2 and gave me Toradol in my vein and that was it.
Prescribed a topical for my neck (for the reaction to the contrast) and sent me home... 6 hours before the public transit started running.. and this hospital would be a 3+ hour commute on public transit. The cab driver drove 80MPH. Not helpful.

Catching up a bit

I went to meet with a nutritionist on Thursday. He had me in for a pretty big test (full body bone density test) immediately, but then told me that it "never happened" because my insurance won't cover it. He said that he can tell my body fat percentage by my bone density, but it came back as 51%. Now, I don't know what the "normal" percentage is, but I am thinking that in my case, this test is not all that accurate. I am NOT saying that I am not fat, what I am saying is that this is not ALL fat. 100lbs in about 3 days, remember. 100lbs of fluid. Anyway, I don't really know what to think right now, but I am trying to keep an open mind becuase he seems like he wants to know what is going on and help me. He was not given any medical history on me, so I stopped him and filled him in a bit before anything else. I have an appointment with him in a month, and he asked "How much do you think you can lose in a month?" and I said "I really don't know, I could lose 20 in a week and gain 30 in an hour- there is no rhyme or reason to any of this." We shall see, I guess. (I think my weigh-in at that appointment was 244lbs.)


Later that day, I got a call DIRECTLY from my endocrinologist regarding some blood work that "should have been flagged a couple of weeks ago" and got some good advice for the follow-up with my PCP. What she said was that my white count is high. It has been consistently high for a while. She understands why some doctors would blow this off as being nothing to worry, but given the circumstances, she feels it needs to be investigated. She also said that I should not discuss my diabetes with my PCP at my appointment, because I need to focus on why I was hospitalized and such. She said to bring up the white count, and that we'd deal with moving forward with diabetes things the next time I see her (which is relatively soon).

Also later that day, I was at a rehearsal and I was overcome with extreme sharp pain again. I could not hold back the tears. It was brutal. I hadn't been taking my pain medicine (I tend to try to not take anything extra on top of the huge cocktail of stuff I am required to take..) and I didn't have any with me. Luckily, one of my friends gave me a ride home. I took pain medicine and slept for a short while before it was time to get going to see the PCP.

The PCP took blood for a potassium level check, since it had been low at the hospital. She also wants me to see a hematologist. I have to check with her and see if that will be set up through her office or if she has someone that she wants me to call.

More on that...

I went back to the ER on Saturday.
The pain did not stop, and it got worse. I got pain in my lower back, and a really terrible, bizarre pain that started in the front-right side of my nack and wrapped around to the center back-right side of my neck. It hurt SO badly. I also swelled up more.
I wound up getting admitted.
The staff at this particular hospital were so great. They treated me like a human being, and really seemed to want to find out what the heck was going on.
Sadly, when they discharged me on Monday afternoon, all they had to say was "Well, we're not going to diagnose you with any weird diseases or do any invasive surgical procedures, but we still have no idea what is going on, sorry." Yeah. So that didn't help much.

While I was in, they did a cortisol test (?) where they took blood, injected me with something and then took more blood an hour later. They say the test showed it wasn't the cortisol levels..
They took an HIV test, and that was negative.
My Potassium was low one time, so they gave me some to drink, and I guess it brought it back up.

My blood sugars have been pretty darn good too.

I have no idea what the heck is going on. It's been almost 2 years. I need answers.

So let's see...

Last week, I had a kidney doc appointment. I got seen 2 hours after my appointment time, and only for about 15 minutes, most of which was spent with the doc typing. I left to go to the blood lab and wound up having to sit down for a while and eat a liquid lollipop because my blood sugar had taken a nose dive. Got blood work done, and left.

On Thursday, I had an endocrine appointment. got praised for doing well and having my A1C drop several points. I have a ways to go, but am back in the single digits, which is good. More blood work.

Friday I went to New York City for a show and spent the night wandering around. I was walking almost the entire time between 12:20am and 8am, with the exception of about an hour or two total. I mapped it out a bit and estimate that I walked just less than a marathon. When I got back to Boston, I threw up blood at the train station and was rushed to the hospital, where I was treated like absolute shit. I was discharged with Ranitadine, Protonix, and Zofran(?) which was not covered by insurance and cost about $70. Eep. I spent the next couple of days pretty much unable to move, and had another swelling episode. I stopped the Protonix, as that had made me gain weight in the past... I am still swollen though, and in a lot of pain.

On Wednesday, I had an appointment, and then I went to visit a friend of mine. I was fine, albeit a bit tired, and then all of a sudden I had a massive stabbing pain in the lower left side of my stomach and I could barely move. I felt like I had to pee, so I went into the bathroom. Nothing. Here I am, the girl on 2 diuretics, unable to pee. This is not good. My friend insisted on calling an ambulance. They came, they carried me down most of the stairs, and then they dropped me. No, I am not joking. They picked me back up, and got me into the ambulance and took me to yet another hospital. Luckily, this one treated me like a human being. It was almost freaky. They did a bunch of tests. It was scary, not gonna lie about that. It was also very odd that they wanted me to umm... put the thing in for the pelvic ultrasound BY MYSELF, but yeah, that wasn't about to happen, as the way I am swollen I certainly couldn't bend at the angle they had me at, and also, hello... abdominal pain!?!?!? They did an abdominal and pelvic ultrasound, a regular pelvic exam, and an abdominal CT. They said that I had blood in my urine, a cyst on my right ovary, and a small kidney stone, as well as probably ligament strain.

They gave me a prescription for oxycodone and discharged me. I still haven't filled the prescription because I can't get to the pharmacy. I haven't eaten since the very small amount I had at about 7am on Thursday. I've got nothing to eat or drink in the house, so basically, I am screwed.

Still moving along...

I always think that I should be updating this thing more often, but then I stop and think "Well, what is the point, its the same old story again" which os pretty much the case right now.

I continue to walk. Quite a bit, actually. In fact, just this weekend I walked around for an hour and a half, looking for a group of people I was supposed to meet up with for a random, unknown spontaneous event.

Once I finally found them, it turns out that there would be more "walking" involved- a la Society of Silly Walks. Basically, I was walking around in one way or another from 1pm- 6pm. Man, did my body ever hate me for that!! Still, it was fun.

I also walked about 2 miles on Friday, and have been pretty active all week thus far. Oh, did I mention that I may or may not have a break in my left ankle/heel? Yeah, so a lot of this was with an air cast on or just having taken it off.

As far as doctors are concerned, I see both the kidney specialist and the endocrinologist next week. I don't really know what to expect. I wish I could get moving toward the pump. I mean, I am definitely making progress, but I wonder when they will actually start me on it...

I don't really know what else to say that isn't totally stale. I am still sick to death of being swollen and in pain, but I am doing the very best I can to avoid being negative and live my life to the fullest.

Right...

So, my primary care doc DID call me back, and she said that she wanted my kidney doc to deal with the Bumex issue since she put me on it and would know more about it. I had to call the kidney doc's office 3 times and finally got a call from the doc at about 6pm on Tuesday evening.
Her take on the matter is that there was no way it was the Bumex causing these issues (which seemed to be of no concern to her WHATSOEVER) and she recommended doubling the dose of the Bumex.
Against my better judgment, I did, and things are pretty much the same.
I am in a lot of pain.
My legs (shins/calves/ankles) have been buckling something fierce and causing extreme pain. I have been a bit dizzy fairly frequently.
Despite being told that my potassium levels are fine, the dizziness tends to subside if I eat a banana. I don't know what to think.
I have been pushing and pushing myself to walk/get exercise daily. I tend to walk at least a mile a day. It HURTS. I feel like I will die with every step. I feel like I could fall down at any given moment and not be able to get up. It is so scary.
I am really lost. I wish it would stop.

Ow.

So I just left a voicemail for my primary care doctor. I was pretty much crying like a baby.
Since I started the Bumex a few days ago, I have been in more pain, been moving less effectively, more swollen...
It has just been so bad.
My mother went to give me a hug goodbye and I jumped a mile from pain.
She said there is a lump on my back about the size of the palm of my hand.
I told the doc in my voicemail that I can't take it and need to know what to do. Hopefully she calls in the morning. She's usually pretty good about that sort of thing.
I can't even describe to you how I feel right now.
Then pain is so bad.

Briefly...

I asked my PCP about the Topamax and she said that she would leave it up to me.
Generally, I would go with less chemicals/drugs= better, and I have not started it up again, but I have been in extreme pain lately. I am not really sure what to do.
I almost passed out from the pain of my calves/ankles buckling on the way to the bus stop yesterday.
I started on the Bumex 3 days ago and the pain has been worse since then.. and I have some painful bumps on my back/shoulders. I don't know if its a coincidence, or related to the drug.
Trying to figure that out.
Other than that, I feel more swollen, more pain, just.. yeah.
Also, I THINK that I was on Bumex before and that it didn't work... going to have to scroll back through entries on here and look into that when I have a moment.

Answers? You don't need no stinking answers!

That seems to be what everyone is telling me these days.
Since May 9, 2008 I have been dealing with this on a daily basis, and not one single answer.
Today, I saw the kidney doc, and got a whole bunch of nothing.
I mean, I was diagnosed with kidney disease, and now they can't even tell me what stage I am in? How screwy does that sound to anyone else, because it sounds really damn screwy to me.

Let's backtrack for a sec.
~On 5.9.08, I weighed 165lbs, possibly 170lbs, due to the broken toes on both feet.
~Later in the day on 5.9.08, I weighed 200lbs, was breathing funny, and had no ankles.
~Was told by the hospital it was in my head, given an Ativan and sent home.
~Went to 2nd hospital on 5.11.08 and was given oxygen and told that since I am "not dying right now, we can't help you" and sent home.
~Hospitalized on 1.20.09 with a hugh fever, vomiting, shaking, the works. Inpatient for a week, not allowed to eat or drink and losing all matter of fluids in all manner of ways, yet still swelled up 15 more lbs overnight and nobody cared.
~Echos have been normal
~Leg US have been normal
~Stress test was normal
~MRI revealed benign tumor on my liver, and was ordered off of birth control in 7/08.
~Random episodes of swelling do not seem to be in correlation with any specific event/food/drink and have gotten me to 263lbs max.
~Meds being switched constantly, including today.

Med list:
Lantus insulin
Humalog insulin
Metolazone 2.5mg
Bumex 2mg (starting tomorrow or whenever I can pick it up- this is replacing the 80mg/Lasix)
Levoxyl 100mcg
Diovan 80mg (my BP doesn't tend to be all that high, this is for kidney protection, but now they are talking about how I should be on a higher dose, but I STARTED on a higher does and almost fainted straight away)
Zyrtect 10mg
Vitamin D 800mg/daily & 50,000mg/weekly
Omega 3 Fish Oil which is for cholesterol, but it is not covered, so I don't know how long I will be able to take it if I can't afford it. I have been DEATHLY allergic to every "medicinal" cholesterol med I have tried, so the nurse wrote for this. Insurance will pay $300/month for something that will kill me, but they won't pay $10/month for something that could very well help me. Go figure.
As needed: Proventil, Ranitadine, Flonase
Unsure: Topamax- was on this for years, taken off of it for a medical study I was in. Am done with the study and unsure as to weather or not I should go back on it or not. Kidney doc refused to say, have left message with my PCP.

Recent test results (rec'd 1.8.10):
Chemistries
Na 139
K 4.9
Cl 101
co2 28.1
Ca 9.3
Mg 2.2
PO4 4.5

Kidney tests: "Your kidney function is stable. Creatinine has improved since last check."

Glucose: "Your blood sugar is stable."

Liver tests
Protein 6.7
Alb 3.9
AST 16
ALT 20
ALP 153
T Bili 0.2
D Bili 0.1

Cholesterol "Slightly better than last time, except triglycerides, but this is not a fasting and this affects the results."
Cholesterol total 245
Bad Cholesterol (LDL) 143
Good Cholesterol (HDL) 51
Triglycerides 256

Thyroid Tests: "Your thyroid tests are normal."
TSH 1.67

So yeah, that's about it. I don't know what all of the tests/results mean, but I don't get answers when I ask. I have been told by my kidney doc that she has no other ideas, no other tests, no suggestions of another sort of specialist to seek out answers from.

I asked about natural suggestions and was told only that they are dangerous. (Right, so like, I have low potassium and I eat a banana and it will kill me? Bananas are natural and contain potassium. Please explain to me how this will hurt me? All I wanted was maybe a list of food that might AIDE in the getting rid of fluids...)

I am so lost. Please make it stop. I am begging, if any random person who reads this happens to know someone, some way who can help, I would be eternally grateful.

Quickly...

Surgery scheduled for 12/30... pretty much starting off the year as I began it, on that front.
Swelling again, which is very painful and makes mobility of any sort quite difficult and painful.
I am very nervous about all of this, and recently found a photo of myself from 2 months before this all began and can't get over it. I looked so good- I don't mean that in a cocky sort of way, but rather just that I thought, at that point, that I was horrid looking, and now... I look like hell and feel like hell and seeing me look that good is just baffling and brings tears to my eyes.
I really wish someone would give me a diagnosis and a treatment.
I am out of strength and will.

It has been a long couple of weeks.

Retina appointment on 12/16.
Improved 3 lines on the right and 2 lines on the left.
This is an improvement back toward my ORIGINAL crappy vision, not toward 20/20 or anything, but hey, progress is progress, right?
The bad news is that I do need more surgery on the left eye. Soon. "Before it starts bleeding again" sort of thing.
Also, the loss of peripheral vision is sort of a trade-off to keeping/fixing my central vision. It will not come back. That saying about how "you don't know what you've got til its gone" is so very true. I had no idea how useful it actually was. I mean.. I know its useful, but like... I don't know how to word it, do you know what I mean??

The next day.. I had 3 appointments right in a row: Nutritionist, Endocrinologist, and Echo-cardiogram. Was a full day. Pretty positive in most regards. I mean, the issues are still there, but we are working toward trying to figure out what is going on, get my appointments co-ordinated and such, and maybe get me working toward an insulin pump.

There is a LOT more to write, regarding more tests and more trips to the hospital, but I am still fighting off this bug, so I am going to stop for now and try to get some sleep.

Also...

My breathing is getting worse by the minute. I need sleep.

My ears are doing this weird thing between extreme pain and numbness from the inside out.

My throat hurts more and more and I am having variations between a dry, hacking, painful cough and bringing up mucus and blood. It hurts so much to swallow.

I have spots in my eyes again. My neck, back and shoulders hurt more than I think quite possibly EVER. I am freezing on my hands, and the rest of my feels hot.

I can't find my thermometer.

I can't breathe.

I can't go back to the hospital even though they told me to if exactly this sort of thing happened.

I am in so much pain, and I am so scared.

...

I was diagnosed with kidney disease on Thursday.

I had seen it mentioned in passing before, but this was to-my-face confirmation.

Lovely.

Don't really have any details yet. I am supposed to see the kidney doc ASAP, and go to endocrine dept every 2 weeks.

On Saturday, I was on my feet for a very long time and went from being hot inside to getting stuck in a snowstorm with not very winter-y clothing for a couple of hours. I swelled up about 5lbs that night.

I woke up VERY sick on Sunday and went to the ER. I couldn't speak much, both ears hurt, I threw up 3 times, yellow sputum with chunks of blood, neck, back, shoulder & head pain... the works. They did a chest x-ray and took some blood, gave me IV fluids, and sent me home with a prescription for Tamiflu & Tessalon Perles. The Tessalon Perles were not covered and cost nearly thirty dollars. (plus three for the Tamiflu)

They don't seem to be working.

I went back to the ER today. Well, I started at urgent care and they sent me to register and since I couldn't talk at ALL, I was taken by wheelchair "STAT" to the ER... where I waited for about an hour to be seen- and all they did was take my vitals, do a strep test, and tell me to "grin & bear it unless it gets worse" which is why I went in in the first place...

My breathing is so bad. I get winded drinking water. I know.. that sounds really weird. I don't even know another way to describe it.