Just keep swimming....

I am still distraught about my Missy.

To make matters worse, her ashes, which I was supposed to have within 2-4 weeks, have not been returned to me, and it has been just over 6 weeks now. This is because THEY LOST HER BODY.
I am freaked out. I can't even function.

I just found out I have osteoarthritis in both hands. The surgery I had a year ago today may well have been unnecessary.

I got a couple other really scary diagnosis but I am not ready to go there yet. I just can't.

My psyche is really fragile right now

There's 7 feet of snow outside and I am trapped in my house. It sucks. Nobody gives a shit if I am alive or if I have heat, electricity, or food, water, insulin....

Still trying to heal....

Left hand still has stitches in it. Still very swollen too- particularly the index finger- it feels full of fluid, and the middle finger feels lumpy, for lack of another word.

The incision sites are still very tender and I can not really have them uncovered for all that long. I can not bend or extend fully, or put much pressure. I wish I knew why it is taking so darn long. It has been very nearly a month since the surgery!

I start physical therapy for it on Friday- my intake, anyway.

So much more going on, but my head is spinning and my hands really hurt. It is hard to type, so I need to rest for now.

I don't even know where I left off...

I went to see a headache specialist today, and left with an appointment for surgery on my left hand for Wednesday. Try wrapping your head around THAT one, eh?

Oy. Currently battling infection on December's surgical site and praying that I don't lose the gland altogether, so there's that....

I see a physiologist on Friday...

I've had an average of 2 appointments per day at least 4 days per week recently. It's maddening, really.

I miss fun. I miss music. I miss shows. I miss performing.  I miss hugs.  I miss being social.  I miss snuggling. I really could use a vacation.