Friday, February 21, 2014


I am in so much pain.
I have virrtually no use of my left hand whatsoever, and am told I must keep it above my heart at all times,
It hurts like hell. There is sharp pain, and tingling, and numbness and throbbing, and it feels like my fingers are full of fluid and i have no idea what is normal. The pain meds barely even take the edge off.  I don't know what to do. I feel so helpless,

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

You put your left hand in....

...and hopefully it comes out feeling better, eventually?

Here's hoping, at least! I going in for surgery on my left hand in a few hours.
I am super nervous, but also very hopeful.

I am also in a lot of pain EVERYWHERE ELSE ON MY ENTIRE BODY and I would really like to know why! At least when I am unconscious from the anesthesia, I won't feel it for a short while! Yay!

I won tickets to see a band that some friends have, that I really love and have not seen in far too long, which ALSO happens today (I entered the contest before I knew I was having surgery and I won om Tuesday afternoon, heh!) and I am hoping to make it.

I think it is going to depend on whether or not I can find a friend with a vehicle to bring me and take me home. We shall see.  Fingers crossed....well, not really...part of why I need surgery, I can't move my fingers...but you know what I mean. ;-)

I did see the throat surgeon today and she says that I don't look infected right now, but we do have to keep an eye on it.  If it DOES keep getting infected, I am going to lose the gland on the left side altogether, and that is scary in and of itself, but even MORE scary because the stone on the RIGHT (which is still in there) is so large that if THAT starts acting up (heaven forbid!) there is NO way to get the stone out without taking the gland out, period. (Taking the gland out means  slicing my neck open by my throat. The mere thought freaks me out.)

Anyway, I should stop thinking about that for now. Have not come to that bridge just yet, thankfully!

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

I don't even know where I left off...

I went to see a headache specialist today, and left with an appointment for surgery on my left hand for Wednesday. Try wrapping your head around THAT one, eh?

Oy. Currently battling infection on December's surgical site and praying that I don't lose the gland altogether, so there's that....

I see a physiologist on Friday...

I've had an average of 2 appointments per day at least 4 days per week recently. It's maddening, really.

I miss fun. I miss music. I miss shows. I miss performing.  I miss hugs.  I miss being social.  I miss snuggling. I really could use a vacation.