Saturday, December 26, 2009


Surgery scheduled for 12/30... pretty much starting off the year as I began it, on that front.
Swelling again, which is very painful and makes mobility of any sort quite difficult and painful.
I am very nervous about all of this, and recently found a photo of myself from 2 months before this all began and can't get over it. I looked so good- I don't mean that in a cocky sort of way, but rather just that I thought, at that point, that I was horrid looking, and now... I look like hell and feel like hell and seeing me look that good is just baffling and brings tears to my eyes.
I really wish someone would give me a diagnosis and a treatment.
I am out of strength and will.

Monday, December 21, 2009

It has been a long couple of weeks.

Retina appointment on 12/16.
Improved 3 lines on the right and 2 lines on the left.
This is an improvement back toward my ORIGINAL crappy vision, not toward 20/20 or anything, but hey, progress is progress, right?
The bad news is that I do need more surgery on the left eye. Soon. "Before it starts bleeding again" sort of thing.
Also, the loss of peripheral vision is sort of a trade-off to keeping/fixing my central vision. It will not come back. That saying about how "you don't know what you've got til its gone" is so very true. I had no idea how useful it actually was. I mean.. I know its useful, but like... I don't know how to word it, do you know what I mean??

The next day.. I had 3 appointments right in a row: Nutritionist, Endocrinologist, and Echo-cardiogram. Was a full day. Pretty positive in most regards. I mean, the issues are still there, but we are working toward trying to figure out what is going on, get my appointments co-ordinated and such, and maybe get me working toward an insulin pump.

There is a LOT more to write, regarding more tests and more trips to the hospital, but I am still fighting off this bug, so I am going to stop for now and try to get some sleep.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Still sick.

Today, I have SLIGHTLY less pain in my throat, depending on the moment. Both of my ears still hurt a lot, and it is still difficult/painful to swallow.
I have been short of breath, and coughing a lot.
I have been drinking a lot of fluids, as I was instructed. In fact, the ONLY thing I have had today is 2 pints of chicken broth with mini croutons, two small shortbread cookies, and water.
The cough is sometimes wheezy, sometimes dry and hacking, and this evening there has been a LOT of thick, sticky, opaque white sputum- sometimes with traces of blood. When it isn't thick and sticky, it is frothy/bubbly.
My ankles are even more swollen than usual, as are the rest of my feet.
Also, yesterday, I had smoked salmon & cream cheese on a bagel for dinner, and my urine smells like smoked salmon now... and I have had tons of broth, water, and I pee a lot.
I would think it would be out of my system by now.. but I have never had this happen, and it is really bizarre.
My entire body aches. It seems to just keep getting worse. I don't know what to do.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009


My breathing is getting worse by the minute. I need sleep.
My ears are doing this weird thing between extreme pain and numbness from the inside out.
My throat hurts more and more and I am having variations between a dry, hacking, painful cough and bringing up mucus and blood. It hurts so much to swallow.
I have spots in my eyes again. My neck, back and shoulders hurt more than I think quite possibly EVER. I am freezing on my hands, and the rest of my feels hot.
I can't find my thermometer.
I can't breathe.
I can't go back to the hospital even though they told me to if exactly this sort of thing happened.
I am in so much pain, and I am so scared.


I was diagnosed with kidney disease on Thursday.
I had seen it mentioned in passing before, but this was to-my-face confirmation.
Don't really have any details yet. I am supposed to see the kidney doc ASAP, and go to endocrine dept every 2 weeks.
On Saturday, I was on my feet for a very long time and went from being hot inside to getting stuck in a snowstorm with not very winter-y clothing for a couple of hours. I swelled up about 5lbs that night.
I woke up VERY sick on Sunday and went to the ER. I couldn't speak much, both ears hurt, I threw up 3 times, yellow sputum with chunks of blood, neck, back, shoulder & head pain... the works. They did a chest x-ray and took some blood, gave me IV fluids, and sent me home with a prescription for Tamiflu & Tessalon Perles. The Tessalon Perles were not covered and cost nearly thirty dollars. (plus three for the Tamiflu)
They don't seem to be working.
I went back to the ER today. Well, I started at urgent care and they sent me to register and since I couldn't talk at ALL, I was taken by wheelchair "STAT" to the ER... where I waited for about an hour to be seen- and all they did was take my vitals, do a strep test, and tell me to "grin & bear it unless it gets worse" which is why I went in in the first place...
My breathing is so bad. I get winded drinking water. I know.. that sounds really weird. I don't even know another way to describe it.