Tuesday, October 25, 2011

I can't believe it has been so long.

I don't even know where to begin, really. Besides the recent confirmation that I am, in fact, alive, I guess I haven't really had the strength to write in quite some time.
I often think about it, but I just don't have the energy.
I've been trying to stay positive, but thins just keep piling one right on top of the other, so to speak.
I finally got the cast off at the end of July/beginning of August, and had to wear a surgical shoe for some time after that. Even now, more than 4 full months post-op, I am still in pain. There is still a bump, and I have had no physical therapy. I am having a LOT of trouble with both feet and knees.

I have had countless appointments with so many specialists about so many things. I can't keep up anymore. It is mentally and physically draining, to say the very least. I doubt that I can remember all the things that happened.

I guess we can flash-forward to September. I started throwing up and thought it was audition nerves gone crazy. The next day, I started peeing a lot, even for me. I got massive pain in my lower left quadrant, which radiated to the back, and sometimes into my chest. I thought perhaps it was a really bad UTI and went to get checked out. After being given the royal run-around, plus blood work and an x-ray, I was sent on my merry way, only to be called a couple of hours later to be told "there is something wrong and you need to come back to the hospital- you can't wait through the weekend" I was on my way into a concert at the time, and I stayed for said concert and then went to the hospital, where they admitted me. They did a CT scan and not a whole heck of a lot more, but kept me for 4 days. Then they came in and said "Well, we can't figure out what is wrong, so it must be in your head because you have fibromyalgia. Follow up with your PCP." The next day, I thought I was going to see my PCP, and wound up seeing the nurse practitioner who had sent me home and called me back several days earlier. She said "Maybe it is GYN-related, but since your GYN is at another hospital, you should go there" so I called over there and was told to come on in.
When I got to hospital number 2, and the GYN went to examine me, we found 2 things: 1) I was apparently bleeding, although I wasn't supposed to be, so he couldn't do a full exam and 2) I had a painful mass on my left breast.


So he sent me for an emergency mammogram and transvaginal ultrasound. I was petrified for the mammogram. I went for one before due to something a doctor thought suspicious, and when I got to the office, I was told "you're too young" and refused the test. Now I was back and scared. The one somewhat calming thing about it was that the woman doing the test told me that the fact that it hurt was actually a GOOD sign. She was, thankfully, correct in my case. Cancer was ruled out immediately. Bullet dodged.

Then came the ultrasound. I went in for that via the ER, as instructed. When it was done, I was sent back to the ER, and I was admitted from there. I was told that the us looked clear, but they needed to run more tests. I was forced to take Colace twice a day, and Miralax, and then they made me drink sparkling laxitive... mind, I hadn't eaten in days and was on a clear liquid diet in the hospital. After 4 more days, they decided that they also didn't know what was going on and they sent me home- though they put me on iron supplements upon finding out that I am anemic. I should mention that during my 8 days inpatient between 2 hospitals, everyone said that MY KIDNEYS ARE FINE.

The day after I was discharged, I went to my previously-scheduled appointment with my diabetes doctor. Over a week in the hospital and seen by about 6 doctors who can't figure a damn thing out, and this woman, in ten minutes, says "I wonder if you might have gastroparesis" and orders a test. I went in for the test, and it turns out I do have a bit of a wonky tummy. I am going to meet with a nutritionist/dietitian to see if we can figure out things to eat/not eat to make the symptoms lessen.

The day after I saw the endocrinologist, I saw the nephrologist, who mentioned that I have STAGE 3 KIDNEY DISEASE. Stage 3. What.The.Frik.? I was told over the previous 8 days that my kidneys were fine and then all of a sudden I am 2 stages away from death?! Something is not right here. Something is NOT right. I cried. I still don't know what to think. At all.

Flash forward again to the very beginning of October: I was enjoying a festival that I have been enjoying every year for the past several, when all of a sudden, my sugar skyrocketed and I vomited blood. I was taken from the festival to the hospital by ambulance, and once again, they admitted me, though much against my will. I protested quite a lot. They said they were going to do an endoscopy, but then they said they were basically going to keep me in the hospital for 3 days, not letting me eat or drink anything and THEN do the endoscopy. I told them I would be happy to come BACK for the test, but that keeping me for that long in this case would do much more harm than good. I set up the appointment and I left and went back for the tail-end of the festival.

I think I am about to pass out over my keyboard, so I will pick up where I am leaving off as soon as I can.

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